The Game
by Kyttiecat
Summary: MattxMello.. Actions are based on the anime and manga. Matt hasn't seen Mello in years. Why is he showing up now? MAJOR SPOILERS and such..
1. Chapter 1

Matt sat by the window of his fourth story apartment; boot clad feet propped up on the windowsill and cigarette in hand. The sun was just setting, throwing fiery shades of reds and yellows on the mold stained walls. He noticed long ago that the wallpaper had started to turn an empty shade of grey and begun to tear and peel down to the baseboards, leaving plaster in its wake. The plaster crumbled to the floor and merged with USB cables and Ethernet cords as they snaked about the threadbare neutral carpet. Computers were strewn about the room haphazardly, laptops and PCs, five total. They produced an electric blue haze that started to envelop the room in a calming light, clashing with Matt's copper red strains of hair. He brushed said strains from his cheek and pulled his orange tinted goggles from his face, letting them rest on the pale skin of his collarbone.

His eyes shown the haze blue of the monitors and he closed them slowly, taking in the soft hum of processors and cooling fans. He took a drag on his cigarette letting the sensation of the toxins sooth his body. He had never felt more at home than at that moment. The silence, the electricity, the poison… it was perfect.

The door swung open, hitting the wall in the process. Plaster clattered to the floor and Matt just about jumped right out of his skin. His cigarette went flying to the floor, red ash spraying across the carpet:

"Matt… I need you to check up on Amane Misa for me," Mello barked as he passed the red head. He conveyed pure energy; deadly, eccentric, and addictive. "Tell me everything that you can find about her… I think I have a lead."

"Jesus Fucking CHRIST Mello…" Matt protested, mourning the lost of his fallen cigarette as he stamped it out. He reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a fresh one, lighting it and taking a drag.

"I'll take that as a 'Yes Sir,'" Mello replied, walking over to the black leather couch. He splayed himself onto its cushions, placing his hands behind his head and glancing at the ceiling. "I just have this feeling. Amane fits the mold of the second Kira. I know that the notebook is close. If only I could grab it…" Mello reached his leather glove clad hand into the air, making a fist as if to emphasize his point all the more. Matt couldn't help but smirk. Matt ran on Mello's energy… his electricity was empowering. He admired Mello's presence for a few moments, taking in the blonde's energy… getting his fix.

Matt turned his back to Mello as his fingers ticked away at the keyboard, searching and penetrating systems for information. He wanted to find something… anything that would give them a hint as to her whereabouts. Matt wanted to be as helpful as possible; after all, Mello had gone to all that trouble to track him down. Matt remembered that day well, he hadn't thought that he'd ever see Mello again. Then unexpectedly, Mello had shown up at his hotel room:

Matt had only been staying there for about a day or two. He'd never bothered to change his clothes in those few days. He still wore his black and white stripped shirt, his blue jean pants and leather boots… and of course, his orange goggles. When Kira appeared Matt decided that the excitement was too much for him. His anxiety had kicked in hard and he wanted to hide away for a few days until it passed. He was hibernating from the world, video games and consoles cluttered the floors and tables of the hotel suite. Candy wrappers, chips and paper cups lay everywhere, forgotten and abandoned. He had everything he needed there: games, computers, cigarettes, a nice kitchenette with a bar… everything.

The curtains were drawn; no light was able to enter the suite except for the artificial glow of the games he played. He escaped into their world, pulled in by an intoxicating desire to become non-existent. So far, it was working perfectly. Then an unexpected knock at the door jerked him from his world.

Matt paused his video game, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Perhaps the sound had come from somewhere else, or perhaps he was just imagining it. He looked around the room, pulling his goggles from his eyes, looking for something that could have sounded like a knock. Perhaps a beer bottle had fallen on the hardwood floor. The knock came again, one short rap and then three fast pounds.

Matt's heart stopped.

"It can't be…" He muttered to himself. As if replying to his unspoken question the knock came again, this time two short raps and two fast pounds. Matt jumped up from his spot. That was the last part of the knock… the signal. Matt tripped over to the door, stepping on video game cases and chips in the process, cursing silently to himself.

He pressed his face against the door, the cool metal bonding with his flushed cheek. He lined up the peek hole with his azure eye. The light in the hallway washed the colors from the person standing in front of the door. Matt observed them: it looked to be a young woman, a blonde… wearing leather…

"That's no woman…" Matt thought to himself. His stomach turned, he pulled his face from the peek hole. Should he open the door? How long had it been since their last fight? Mello had seemed serious when he had told Matt that he never wanted to see his face again. Was this a test?

His stomach lurched again as he slid the lock from its resting place. He paused for a minute, making sure that this was what he wanted to do. He knew that his fate would be sealed if he opened that door. Bringing Mello back into his life would ensure his death. Nevertheless, when you put drugs in front of an addict… they can't help but take the hit, and Matt hadn't had a hit in ages.

Matt turned the doorknob and pulled the door open.

Mello didn't say a word as he entered the dark room. He passed Matt swiftly, his head down and body ridged. He simply walked in, sat down and spread his arms across the back of the couch. He stared at the paused video game in front of him.

"MGS4 huh…" Mello trailed off.

Matt stood by the door, hand on the knob and door still wide open. It was like a dream. It had been years since he last saw Mello… since they last talked and now Mello casually walked into his life as if nothing had happened. Matt sighed as he closed the door. He knew this game all too well. Hell, he could play it on the hardest setting, no cheats, with his eyes closed and still come out with the top score.

But Matt didn't feel like playing this game today. He walked over to Mello and sat cross-legged on the floor in front of his game. This game he could play, he could predict, he wasn't attached to this game. He un-paused MGS4 and continued to play. He wanted to disappear, had he made the wrong decision? It was too late to worry about that now.

The silence seeped through the room like a virus. Mello was getting angry, Matt could feel it. If he didn't respond to Mello's attempt to be friendly soon, he would have to fight the boss. Very well:

"I have a few hours of game play left before I beat it," Matt replied. Dodge… boss battle avoided. Ten points toward shields. Matt could feel Mello's anger retreat. His adrenaline raised, somehow being able to control Mello's emotions like that gave him a high.

"I…" Mello started but faded when Matt paused his game and turned to face him. Matt rested his body weight on his hands as he leaned back waiting for Mello to continue. Mello looked up from his lap. He glanced at Matt and looked down again. Something was wrong.

Matt leaned forward, trying to catch Mello's eyes, when he finally did, he simply said "what is it?"

It wasn't said kindly, or with anger… just simply a response to let Mello know he was listening. Yes... he knew this game.

"I need you…" Mello said. Matt's stomach turned. Somehow he loved the fact that Mello needed him, needed his assistance. "I have to find someone and I need you're help," Mello finished.

"You want to find Kira? You want the notebook… I'm in…" Matt said. Mello smirked at him. Matt always knew just what to say.

That moment had only been a few weeks ago, and Matt remembered every detail perfectly.

"I need you…" Mello had said. It wasn't the first time Mello had said that to him. Somehow, it always made him feel significant. Just a few weeks ago, he wanted to disappear from the world, never to be bothered. He had wanted to lose himself in his video games forever. But now, ever since Mello had said those three words Matt felt like he could tear the whole fucking world down. All he needed was his video games, his computers and Mello by his side… his drug, the one thing that motivated him more than anything.

Together they could take on the world.

"Here…" Matt trailed off as he pointed at one of the computer monitors. Mello jumped up and rushed to stand behind Matt. "Misa commented that she's dating Yagami Raito. Yagami-san is working on the Kira case," Matt finished. He turned to face Mello as the words faded from his lips. Mello's eyes turned a very mischievous shade of green.

"I know Raito is the first Kira. Amane is definitely the second… will you follow her for me, Matt?" Mello asked, adding the last part "for me," deliberately, knowing that Matt wouldn't say no to him. The game continued…

"Sure," Matt replied, attempting to sound bored with the whole situation. "Let me lock in the location of her last event, I can follow her from there. I'll plant some bugs in her home tomorrow night and we'll go from there."

Mello smirked silently. Just as he thought, Matt couldn't help but follow every order Mello gave. All Mello had to do was speak and Matt came running to his call just like a dog.

Even so, this dog belonged to Mello and he wanted to make sure that it came back to him… and _only_ him. Mello placed his hands on Matt's shoulders, snaking his arms around Matt's neck, hugging him tightly as he lowered his face next to Matt's cheek. The sudden contact made Matt jerk away from the touch, his social anxiety kicking in. He started shaking from the contact, his breathing hitched and his heart raced… he wanted to escape. Mello held him tight, letting him struggle against his chest until Matt finally gave up. He hated being so close to other humans, but that didn't stop him from reveling in the affection Mello gave him. Mello very rarely showed Matt any sign of affection, but when he did Matt couldn't help but feel empowered… needed.

"Make sure you look for the notebook…" Mello whispered into Matt's ear, letting his breath tickle Matt's cheek. Just like giving the dog a pat on the head, it was so easy. Matt closed his eyes as his breathing slowed, he waited for the contact to end. Mello lingered a moment or two longer letting the physical contact sink into Matt's brain, letting him remember the kindness. Mello released Matt quickly and walked over to one of the computers. He sat down and began to type.


	2. Chapter 2

Matt listened to the light sound of Mello's delicate fingers against the keyboard as he sat ridged at his computer. A blush began to creep its away across his pallid face, tinting the skin a light pink. He wasn't sure what to think about what had just happened. A part of him wanted nothing more than for Mello to touch him, to praise him just like you would a puppy for learning a new trick, but Matt also hated himself for wanting that, hated himself for being so weak when it came to this drug.

Matt pushed the thought of his humiliation from his head. Somehow, none of it mattered anyway, not as long as Mello needed him. As long as that fact still proved true, his humiliation wasn't important. He knew Mello did it on purpose, perhaps to see his reaction, perhaps because Mello really _did_ care for him. It was so hard to tell… Matt turned his attention to the three computer monitors in front of him. He began to search and plan for his expedition to Amane Misa's apartment.

'This is going to be fun…' Matt smirked. He couldn't remember the last time that Mello and he had collaborated something to this scale. It was just like the old days: computers, fine chocolate… and the risk of getting into a shit load of trouble, yeap just like the old days. Matt was so immersed in his thoughts that he barely noticed when Mello moved from his computer to the black leather couch. He continued to tick away at the keyboard, his fingers winding their way through every password block and encryption that he encountered. He couldn't believe how easy it had been to find were Amane-san lived, what the layout of the room was, when she would be there… it was too easy. For being a topic secret investigation, these people were really sloppy in covering their tracks.

Matt sighed as he stretched his arms above his head, his striped shirt gently lifted over his stomach, revealing his strikingly white skin. He leaned back into his chair and watched the computer screen, his eyes blurring from hours of monitor exposure. The desk was covered in cigarette ashes, the ashtray had reached overflowing hours ago, the empty beer bottles had sufficed for an hour or two but even they were full now.

Matt waited patiently as his last document finished loading, he glanced at the computer clock. Four AM. Matt couldn't wait until Mello saw everything he had accomplished, and all in one night. Imagine if he were to have the entire day to fuck around. Matt turned his chair slightly and peeked over his shoulder. Mello was still lying on the couch, his head tilted to the side, his hands under his head. His full pink lips were parted slightly, eyelids heavy with sleep. Mello's blonde hair fell lightly over his fair-skinned cheek, partially covering his scarred face. The scar couldn't contend with the fact that Mello had an almost flawless beauty about him. He had a somewhat peaceful look when he slept… almost innocence. Matt couldn't help but smile, Mello could be a real asshole sometimes, but when he slept he was like an angel. Well… maybe not an angel, perhaps something more like a poisonous snake. Intoxicating to look at, sexy and sleek… but if you touched him, you might be bitten and if you were bitten, you'd probably die. Laughing to himself, Matt turned back around in his chair, tilted his head up and closed his eyes. His lips formed a faint smile as the world around him began to drift into darkness.

"What's so funny?"

Matt's eyes flew open, his heart pounding. As his vision cleared, he found chartreuse eyes staring down at him framed by a mess of blonde hair. Matt released the breath he hadn't known he was holding and looked into Mello's eyes with disdain.

"Don't you have better things to do than try to give me heart attack every five hours?" Matt complained as he sat up from his resting position, trying to sound annoyed and failing miserably. His hands reached for the keyboard out of habit as he tried to calm himself down, tried to hide the fact that he was shaking.

"Ah.. I always have the time to make you uncomfortable…" Mello replied as he leaned in closer to Matt's ear, "… Mail." (pronounced: 'Mile')

His name… his _real_ name. How long had it been since Mello had uttered his _real_ name? The last time Mello had said that he was… no, he couldn't think about that right now. Matt shivered at the sound of that one syllable escaping from his obsession's lips. He could feel Mello smirking at him, cocky as ever. He wanted to punch that smile from Mello's face; he wanted to hit him until he lay on the floor unconscious, unable to smile. Not out of hatred, but out of frustration. Mello knew what teasing Matt could lead to, but the fact that he relentlessly pestered Matt was proof that Mello knew what he was doing.

"I have everything in place, Mello…" Matt replied using Mello's alias on purpose. Hoping he would notice the cold sound it carried. If he had, Mello didn't give any sign of notice. The game continued.

"… good," Mello stated as he leaned over Matt, skimming through the information on the monitors, occasionally reaching over to scroll down the screen. "Impressive... as usual." Mello righted himself once again, making sure to 'accidentally' brush a glove clad hand across Matt's chest, the hand stopped to rest on Matt's shoulder. Matt inhaled sharply, the sound falling on seemingly deaf ears.

"We need to plant the bugs as soon as possible. We'll gather together everything we need today, according to your research Amane-san will be out this evening." Mello smirked as his idea came to life the way only Matt could allow. He gently squeezed Matt's shoulder before letting go. 'Good boy…' he thought as he mentally patted Matt on the head. As if feeling the mental pat, Matt closed his eyes and sighed. Yes… tonight _was_ going to be fun.

Mello turned back to face Matt.

"I'm going to meet up with some 'old friends,' I should be able to pick up most of what you need to get the bugs up and running," he said as he turned to grab his leather jacket and headed for the door. Without so much a grunt as a 'goodbye,' Mello walked out the door, locking it behind him.

Matt stood up and stretched one last time, mouth agape in a yawn as he walked over to the leather couch. He was use to Mello's indifference, it wasn't that Mello didn't care, it was that he couldn't _show_ that he cared. Mello didn't want to appear weak in front of anyone… especially Matt. Especially now. Matt lay down on the couch, closing his eyes as thoughts of his situation flashed through his head. He'd really fucked himself over this time… but, 'Maybe he does still care…' he thought as he drifted to sleep.

_The rain pounded relentlessly on the sidewalk of the orphanage making Matt look to the sky, almost as if trying to see who was causing all of this misery. His auburn hair was soaked through, his shirt and pants clung uncomfortably to his body. He turned his face toward the rain, closing his eyes and letting it caress his face and neck. Everyone else was inside keeping themselves busy with games or puzzles, but not Matt. Ever since Matt had shown up at the orphanage, he had felt uncomfortable. Not because he wasn't as intelligent as the other 'students,' but because his anxiety wouldn't allow him to befriend anyone._

_The rain always seemed to wash that apprehension away. He felt that he could connect with the raindrops better than he'd ever connected with people. Matt had always felt as if his life was careening out of control just like rain falling to the ground. He was so anxious about what was to come and knew that someday he too would hit the pavement. The only question was "when?" He wasn't sure how long he had been standing there before he heard the footsteps behind him._

"_What the fuck are you doing you idiot…"Matt stood motionless at the sound of Mello's voice. A small smile formed on his lips. Well, he did have one friend, if you could call him such._

_Matt didn't say a word in reply, he simply tilted his head to look at the ground once more. He could feel Mello's irritation bore into his mind. Mello always hated being ignored. Even if he didn't admit it, Mello needed Matt, even if it was only for self-centered gain. He needed Matt to ground him, to keep him from going insane. When no one else would stop to pay heed to Mello's needs… Matt would. So, when Matt ignored him, it drove him mad._

"_I just needed time to think," Matt replied, quenching Mello's thirst for attention. The silence that followed was flawed only by the sound of the raindrops hitting the earth._

"…_I," Mello started. Matt turned to face him, the rain dripping down his cheeks as he waited for Mello to continue. Somehow, this felt so familiar._

_Mello just stood there before him, face flawless, head bowed and eyes pointed toward the ground. Mello's clothes clutched to his form as the water began to soak through the fabric. Water droplets ran down the blonde strands of hair, making them mat together. He seemed so fragile standing there. Were his lips trembling? For a moment, Matt thought about telling Mello how he felt, but the rain kept interrupting him._

_As if sensing Matt's unease, Mello looked up at him, his eyes glazing over as if he were looking right through Matt. They stood like that for a few seconds; Matt's heart was going wild. He swore that Mello was reading his thoughts, flipping through the pages of his mind. Before he knew what he was doing, Matt closed the distance between them. He watched Mello watch him, unmoving as if startled by Matt's behavior. For a split second, Matt hesitated, stopping short in front of Mello before leaning down to capture Mello's soft lips with his._

_Matt closed his eyes as he kissed Mello gently. When the kiss wasn't returned Matt began to grow anxious and slowly pulled away keeping his eyes closed the whole time. When Matt opened his azure eyes once more, he kept them on the ground, afraid of what he might encounter if he were to look up._

_The rain continued its steady melody as the moments ticked by. Matt's apprehension grew to the point of shaking as he thought about what this silence might mean. Suddenly, as if sensing his stress Mello spoke:_

"_Let's go inside…"_

_Was that meant to be a distraction? A warning? An invitation? Matt couldn't tell anymore, his heart was pounding too quickly for him to concentrate. Mello turned toward the main building of Whammy's House and began to make his way to the side entrance. All Matt could do was follow like a lost puppy._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_The halls of the orphanage were surprisingly deserted, the sound of the two boy's boot-clad feet echoed through the halls, making Matt's nervousness increase. He had never felt this small before. The only instance that even began to brush this feeling was when he'd been abandoned by this parents. But thinking about that would just bring on an attack and Matt was already fighting off the strong urge to run._

_When the two reached the door to Matt's room Matt hesitated, stopping at the threshold._

'_Does he want me to follow him?' He wondered, looking shyly at Mello, trying to find a glimpse of evidence that would provide an answer. Mello continued on, avoiding eye contact with Matt as he walked the few extra feet to his own room. Mello simply opened the door and closed it behind him, leaving Matt in the hallway alone._

_It was all Matt could do not to slam his own door shut behind him as he entered his bedroom. He took a deep breath as he glance around his room, trying to find something to break. Something insignificant… expendable, but the only thing he could find was the two Chinese good luck cats that graced his dresser. Those had been the only thing his parents had willingly given to him, right before things changed. Those cats were his last link between him and his past._

_He grabbed one off the dresser top and raised it in the air, holding it between his fingers, admiring the hand-painted details of the eyes and whiskers. The cat smiled down at him, eyes shining… mocking him. So much for good luck. Matt formed a fist around the cat figuring and raised it even higher into the air. He threw it as hard as he could against the door, smashing it into a thousand pieces. The 'bang' and 'clash' that followed seemed to lessen Matt's frustration. He collapsed beside the bed; he couldn't hold it in any longer. _

_Matt's body started shaking as he drew his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. His damp clothes dripped onto the hardwood floor. He couldn't seem to breathe, he tried to slow his breathing down and calm himself but to no avail, this attack was bad. Matt clenched his hand into a fist once more and punched the wall next to him until his hand began to ache. He fell to his side exhausted, his breath hitched as his face began to turn red._

_He barely noticed when his bedroom door was shoved open. All he could sense was the faint touch of hands pulling him into a sitting position._

"_You fucking dumbass…"Mello said as he righted Matt and shoved a paper bag into his face. " Breathe into that for awhile." Matt complied, grabbing the bag and placing it to his lips. He closed his eyes as he attempted to concentrate on calming himself down. Mello sat beside him, glancing over at the shattered remnants of cat lying on the floor. They sat in silence once again until Matt's attack had dissipated._

_Mello had asked him about the cats before and Matt had told him what he could about his parents. Mello had just nodded his head in understanding and left it at that. Matt removed the paper bag from his face and stared at the pieces on the floor._

"_Why'd you do that…" Mello asked. Matt glanced over at him, then averted his eyes to the bag that lie in his lap. He didn't want to tell Mello this time. He had already poured himself into a kiss that wasn't returned. He just didn't feel like talking anymore. Mello waited for him to answer and when Matt didn't he started to get frustrated. Matt tried to act as if it didn't bother him, keeping himself busy by tearing up pieces of the bag._

_Suddenly, Mello stood up, frustrated that Matt wouldn't let him know what was wrong. He walked over to Matt's dresser and grabbed the last good luck cat from its surface. Before Matt could understand what was happening Mello threw the cat as hard as he could at the floor, its pieces shattering across the wood surface. Matt stared wide-eyed at Mello. He jolted up and walked up to the blonde, grabbing Mello by the shirt collar._

"_WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT!" He screamed as he shoved Mello away. Mello had already broken his heart, why did he insist on breaking everything else Matt had?_

_Mello pushed him back._

"_THEY CAN'T HAVE YOU ANYMORE!" Mello screamed, eyes charged with energy. Matt stood in front of Mello, his brow furrowed. What did he mean by that? Mello looked away and shuffled in his position, obviously uncomfortable. He folded his arms across himself in an attempt to appear nonchalant about the situation._

"_They don't need you anymore…. I do, Mail."_

_Matt's jaw dropped. What was this? Was Mello apologizing? Confessing?_

"_What…" Matt all but whispered. Mello had never said his real name before and Matt took notice of the way he said it gently, almost a whisper. This game was so hard for him to play; it was becoming too personal. Mello looked up at him, lips pursed. _

"_I said 'I need you' you idiot…" Mello said, never talking his eyes off Matt. Mello's eyes were defiant, piercing through Matt like paper. Matt felt his heart thump in his chest. He was needed? Coming from anyone else those words would've held less meaning. But Matt knew that Mello couldn't express himself as well as most people. Those three words had meant more than they seemed. Matt wasn't sure how to act. Should he say something back? Why couldn't he just press the 'X' button to produce a line of text like in his video games? Why did he have to think so hard about this?_

"_Mihael…" was all he could think of to say as Mello's eyes continued to pierce his defenses. Before his mind could even fully process their conversation, Mello had forced himself up to Matt, making him back away slightly startled. The shattered pieces of the porcelain cats crunched under his feet as Matt stepped backward. Mello pushed him to the edge of the bed making Matt's knees buckle as he fell down onto the mattress startled. Their lips brushed ever so slightly and Matt gasped at the sudden weight on top of him as Mello assaulted his lips once more, this time more vigorously. Matt struggled beneath him, but Mello just grabbed his arms, pinning them down on either side of Matt's head with his leather gloved hands. Matt could've easily pushed the blonde off of him and onto the floor, but something inside him wanted this… wanted Mello to control him._

_Matt looked up at Mello, a blush slowly creeping across his cheeks at their position. Mello's eyes were filled with lust. Whatever had been holding back Mello's unseen feelings had broke, not that Matt was complaining. This was a game he could really get into. Matt struggled a little more, bucking his hips as if trying to push Mello off him. Mello pushed Matt down into the bed with his hips, their groins touching. Matt's face became hot as he felt his body react to Mello's torment._

"_What's wrong?" Mello asked teasingly, a smirk forming on his lips. Mello leaned down to whisper in Matt's ear; his breath tickling Matt's cheek. "Isn't this what you wanted?"_

_Matt sighed, trying to control the feeling that had been growing inside him. Matt gasped as Mello began to nibble on his ear lobe; brushing his soft pink lips against the sensitive skin of Matt's neck. Mello's mouth left a trail of wetness as he traveled down Matt's neck to his shoulder. He stopped to gently suck and bite at the flesh there, marking his territory._

"_Ahh…" Matt sighed when he felt the teeth puncture his pale skin. Matt felt Mello smirk at the sound; pressing himself against Matt to increase the threshold of pain and pleasure. Mello licked the blood away from the wound he had created, smiling at the bruise that was beginning to form there. Mello released Matt's hands as he busied himself with Matt's pants; unbuttoning and unzipping the jeans irreverently._

--

Matt woke in a cold sweat, his heart pounding. He looked around the abandoned apartment room: the curtains were still drawn; the sound of computers whirring filled his ears. A dream? It had all just been a dream… Matt brought a hand up and touched the skin of his shoulder gingerly, expecting the touch to be painful, but it wasn't. It had all felt so real. So much so that his body had reacted as it would have if he had been there.

Matt shifted his pants uncomfortably as he pushed himself into a sitting position on the black leather sofa. How long had it been since that day? Mello's sudden appearance into his life had refreshed many memories with it. He found himself having dreams of past events: when they had first met, when Mello had first said his name… when they had first had….

Matt shook his head, trying to clear it. He couldn't think about that now, it would just make his already bad problem worse. Matt brought a hand up to rub the sleep from his eyes. Mello was still not back from his 'friend's' house. Matt looked at the clock, it was only four PM. At least he had gotten some sleep. Matt sat stagnant for a few minutes, trying to calm his problem, but every time he closed his eyes all he saw was smooth skin, blonde hair… and those eyes. Matt shifted his pants once more.

"Damn it…" Matt let his curse fall on deaf ears as he stood up and walked into the small apartment bathroom. He turned on the light and proceeded to remove his clothes. He pulled his striped shirt over his head, letting it fall to the floor, revealing flawless pale skin. Well almost flawless. Matt looked into the mirror, the fluorescent light washing the color from his being, creating a ghost like illusion in the mirror. There on his shoulder was the mark that Mello had left him. Mello had bit him so hard that night that he had left a scar, a reminder of his presence in Matt's life. Matt reached a hand up and gently touched the scar, smiling slightly to himself.

He removed the rest of his clothing before turning the facet on in the bathtub and adjusting the temperature. He pulled the shower nozzle up, letting the water spill into the tub. Matt closed his eyes as the listened to the sound of the water. It sounded so similar to the rain. Matt left himself remember that night he had encountered Mello in the rain.

"Mihael…" Matt whispered to himself. The water pipes groaned in protest, waking Matt from his illusion. He sighed as he stepped into the tub, letting the water drops caress his skin as he leaned into the touch. Water always made him feel better, though he'd rather have those caresses be Mello's fingertips. Matt had hoped that a shower would assist him in washing his growing problem away, but this was one stubborn problem. Matt sighed in frustrating.

He wanted Mello so bad. He wanted to feel that control again, that complete dominance. He wanted to be able to let go and just feel. Matt sighed and reached a hand down in an attempt to fix his problem. He thought about Mello, his soft lips, his smooth skin and those piercing eyes. The way the black leather Mello worn clung in all the right places…. He imagined how it had felt to have Mello on top of him, pressed against him, hot and hard. Matt's pace quickened.

--

Mello entered the apartment, closing and locking the door behind him, spilling the contents of the bag on the couch. He glanced around the apartment, looking at the clock. It was only 4:23, there was plenty of time to get prepared for the nights events. Mello looked over the couch, glancing at the computers, noticing that Matt wasn't sitting in front of any of them. As if answering his unasked question, Mello heard the sound of water fill the apartment. He smirked to himself as he walked toward the bathroom.

This would be a perfect opportunity to frustrate the hell out of Matt. Mello slowed his step as he approached the bathroom door. He grabbed the doorknob delicately and turned it bit by bit, attempting to be as quiet as possible.

"Ahh.."

Mello stopped in his tracks at the sound. Had he imagined it? Mello placed his ear carefully against the surface of the door. He stilled himself and listened closely, closing his eyes to increase his perception.

"Ahh…. Mihael…"

Mello's eyes widened, he jerked his head away from the door and stood, motionless in front of the bathroom door. He knew that this time it wasn't his imagination. Was Matt in there… thinking about him… while he… Mello smirked at the idea.

Mello smiled to himself. His strategy was working; he was winning the game. Mello turned his back to the door and walked over to the couch. He sat down and began to shuffle through the contents of the bag, waiting for Matt to get out of the shower. Yes, this would be an excellent opportunity to frustrate the gamer.


	4. Chapter 4

**I reposed this.. There was a few detail flaws that I found.. Gomen **

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Matt stepped out of the shower, feeling somewhat better than before. His damp auburn hair clung to his pale face as he looked at his relection in the mirror. He picked up his clothes and got dressed, making sure to cover the scar on his shoulder. He wondered faintly if Mello remembered that day... He towel dried his hair in the process, thinking about where he would place the bugs in Amane-san's apartment... perhaps one in the bedroom, just for kicks. It wasn't that Matt didn't like women, he found them very attractive... he just didn't like people in general. Mello was the first person that he had felt comfortable talking to. He would never let anyone else do the things that Mello did to him. Sure, Mello played a lot of mind games, but Matt loved playing games... they were his life. Plus, frequent competition between them kept things interesting.

Matt smiled faintly to himself, opened the bathroom door and walked into the living room. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Mello sitting on the couch, elbows on his leather clad knees, planning the night's events. He held a sheet of paper in one hand and a melting bar of chocolate in the other. Mello didn't even look up as Matt crossed the few feet to the couch to stand beside Mello, shoving his hands in his back pockets. He glanced over Mello's shoulder faintly skimming the pages.

"Have fun in the shower?" Mello asked nonchalantly as he flipped to the last page of the stack, snapping a piece of chocolate bar into his mouth. Matt glanced at him somewhat confused, a slight blush appearing across his cheeks. Matt pondered Mello's question for a moment, noticing the small smirk that had graced Mello's pink lips. Did he know? Matt asked himself silently as he looked over the items Mello had brought back. Cameras, wires, various computer components... all the things Matt would need to make Mello's dream a reality, and Mello's dream was his command. Matt sat down next to the blonde, placing his goggles on his face as he began to idly fondle the parts, inspecting them for faults. He turned the pieces over, setting each of them in his bare hands as if testing their weight, then placing each one carefully on the table in front of him.

"These are good parts..." Matt remarked idly, choosing not to answer Mello's previous statement. Mello eyed the red head as he took another bite of the chocolate bar, letting the piece melt over his tongue as he smiled.

"Would you expect any less from me?" Mello asked, giving his best look of innocence. Mello? Innocent? Matt laughed, the sound carrying though the apartment. Mello smiled even wider, he couldn't remember the last time Matt had laughed so freely. The moment was short lived as Matt picked up all the pieces he would need to start his project. He sat cross-legged on the threadbare floor, a small cloud of dust dispersed into the air as he sat down. He lit a cigarette, placing it carelessly on his lips as he lost himself in the parts around him, disassembling pieces for rewiring and upgrading. The whirring of the computer hard drives mixed with the occasional snap of a certain chocolate bar. He sat hunched over like that for some time, occasionally looking up stats on the monitors, viewing everything through his goggles.

Somehow wearing the orange tinted goggles helped Matt think. He felt as though he were viewing life through a computer screen, something like a FPS or RPG. He didn't have to worry about feeling anxious or weak. The tint of orange telling him the difference between reality and illusion. But now that Mello was here, Matt wasn't sure where the illusion ended and reality began. Before Mello, every game he played molded into the next, creating a redundant and exceedingly simple pattern. He didn't have to think... to feel, he just had to exist. Given an uniterrupted 72 hour period, Matt would beat any game you placed in front of him, but Mello's game kept changing. Everytime he logged on, the rules were different... more complex. He'd always be able to complete the levels, somehow avoiding certain death, but... he could never finish the game. The challenge was addicting.

Matt placed a finished 'bug' on the table behind him, flicking some ashes from his cigarette to the ground. If this was the reason Mello kept him around... then that was okay with him. Matt adjusted his goggles as he started on the next piece. He noticed briefly that the sun had started to set, probably drenching the room in golds and oranges. Matt couldn't tell the difference with his goggles on. He looked up toward the window, watching the sky slowly fade away. Another day gone... how many more of these sunsets did he have left?

Matt had never noticed Mello's glances, he'd been too immersed in his project to notice anything other than the wires in front of him and the faint sound of Mello and his chocolate. Matt smiled, he wished he could do something to make this moment last. It felt so familiar... like so many times in the past. Matt was wrenched into reality when he felt a gentle breeze carress his neck. Matt turned to his left, coming face to face with Mello. Mello took a bite of his chocolate, blonde hair falling over his eyes. He looked intently at Matt as if waiting for something. Matt held his gaze, refusing to back down this time. Mello had won too many of these games already, it was his turn. Mello looked at the pieces Matt had completed, grabbing one and turning it over in his hand as if inspecting the quality. Matt watched him patiently, waiting... for approval? He wasn't sure.

"These are good parts..." Mello said, mocking Matt's earlier attempt to avoid his questioning. Mello looked up at Matt, eyes piercing, a smirk on his face. He slightly tilted his head to the side, waiting for Matt to reply, his eyes daring Matt to play. Matt stared at Mello, trying not to smile at the older man's playfulness. Sure... he'd play, why the fuck not.

"Would you expect any less from me?" Matt asked innocently, taking the cigarette from his lips and smashing it on the floor. Mello chuckled a little before licking his lips. Matt smiled at the laughter, turning to face his companion once again. Mello looked at him attentively, only breaking the contact to snap a piece chocolate off with his teeth. He let the flavor melt over his tongue before breaking another piece off, this time with his fingers. The chocolate smugged under his touch, staining his leather gloves, as Mello reached his hand out to Matt, beckoning him to take the piece. Like the master giving a treat to his puppy. Matt looked down at the chocolate in awe. Mello was _sharing_ his chocolate?

Matt felt a little honored by the gesture. He didn't particularly like sweets, in fact... food in general seemed to him to be a waste of precious time... time that could be spent gaming. But he would endure this game. In fact, Matt decided to up the stakes, he had been playing on Mello's terms for awhile now, it was time to introduce his own. Matt gave Mello his best look of innocence as he leaned forward toward his glove clad hand. Normally, Matt would've just taken the piece of chocolate with his hands, shoved the piece into his mouth and been done with it. However, this time Matt leaned in, grabbing Mello's wrist with his left hand, and slowly brought the piece closer to his mouth. He smiled at Mello's sharp intake of breathe at the contact as he leaned ever closer, taking the piece of chocolate from Mello's hand with his tongue. The taste dissolved in his mouth and as it did, Matt thought about how much Mello really did taste like chocolate.

He savored the taste, and didn't stop there. Matt looked up at Mello as he slowly began to lick every trace of the sweet candy from Mello's hand, placing Mello's fingers into his mouth as he gently sucked the sweetness from them. His tongue wrapped around each digit carefully, slowly. Matt wanted to make sure Mello felt every carress, this was payback. Mello's face was priceless, his eyes were wide, his mouth open in disbelief of the sudden tension between them. Yes, he definitely wasn't expecting that. Matt slowly released his grip on Mello and returned to his position on the floor. It took everything in his being not to jump Mello right there, to force Mello down on the floor under him. Instead Matt sat in front of a computer and began to search, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

"Thanks... Mihael," Matt said, a mischievous smirk tinting his eyes. Matt soaked in his victory, he had caught Mello unawares. Mello had been so enthralled with his own strategy that he hadn't thought that Matt would change his tactic. It was all too perfect. Mello sat there, motionless for well over a minute. Matt felt Mello's eyes on him, but he did not give any sign of notice, he just continued to click at the keyboard, stoic as ever. When Mello did move it was sudden, he stood as if attempting to compose himself and walked over to the couch. He grabbed the bag that had been lying on the table and began to shove the finished bugs into it, his movements a little nervous.

"We should head out soon... Amane-san should be gone by now," Mello said nonchalantly, fully regaining his composure.

* * *

Sorry this one is so short.. I couldn't think of how to start their plan to bug Amane's apartment.. but I didn't want to leave you guys waiting too long..

Please comment. I've written 4 chapters now.. how do you think it's going? likes? dislikes? I'd love to hear feedback.. perhaps I can improve


	5. Chapter 5

**I hope that this chapter makes up for Chapter 4. I know that the last chapter was rather short. I think you'll like this one..**

**Update: 7-29-08: I know.. I know.. I haven't updated in awhile. I am working on Chapter 6 now. I was distracted as I recently purchased "Death Note: Another Note" a short novel. The information in its depths entranced me. But I am almost finished with it now and found it very helpful in inspiring ideas for the rest of my fanfiction. Sorry for the long wait. Don't worry.. I haven't abandoned this! **

**Chapter 5**

Matt and Mello left their apartment around 9pm in the 1972 red Mustang Mello had managed to 'acquire'. Whammy-sama had left them a significant amount of money with his passing. Everything the orphans needed they received, and Matt and Mello were no exception. Matt had managed to move out of the orphanage some time ago without any financial problems. If he needed something, the money was there just like magic. Even though money was no object, Matt had to admire Mello's taste. A Mustang? Classic... The sky was black, the only light being that of the street lamps that lined the downtown sidewalks. Their orange glow managed to blot out any stars that might have appeared in the night sky, leaving a feeling of desolation in their wake. It was a perfect night for mischief. They pulled into a parking garage three blocks away from her apartment. Amane-san was having a come-back appearance at a local news station that night and wouldn't be home until late, they had plenty of time to set up.

Mello exited the drivers side, stretching as he stood up, glancing over at Matt in the process. Matt grabbed his backpack of equipment and smirked at Mello, his heart racing. This was perfect... Matt wasn't one to want to go outside, his social anxiety usually confined him to a room or two indoors. Tonight, however, was definitely an exception. Matt was ready; his goggles on, cigarette hanging from his lips. They walked in silence along the empty streets, their footsteps echoing through the buildings. Matt was vaguely reminded of the time when Mello and he had sneaked into Whammy's office in order for Matt to access the computer there. Matt had long ago discovered how to access the server at the orphanage. They thought it was fun to mess with student schedules and grades. Every once in a while they'd change one of Near's grades to an A-, just to see his reaction. His face would be priceless, but Matt and Mello would always get caught afterward. Detention, or being sent to bed without food were small punishments in order to see the look on Near's face when he thought he had slipped. Games like those paled in comparison to their current venture. There was always the off chance that they would get into serious trouble, but that thought only made the game that much more enticing.

Hal Snyder had tipped Mello off about Mogi and Aizawa's intentions to follow Misa Amane to get the notebook. If he could get the bugs in their apartment, perhaps the conversations that followed would lead him to his goal. A few weeks earlier Matt and he had followed Mogi and Aizawa to L.A. to get into contact with Amane. Aizawa had left Amane with Mogi, Matt had scoped out the area while Mello followed Aizawa, hoping to find a location that would be of use... perhaps NPA headquarters. When Matt found that Amane Misa was staying with Mogi in the apartment Mello knew that this woman had to be the second Kira… she had to possess the notebook. Just a week ago he had informed Matt to make the bugs, and now... here they were… the plan was set, Matt had made the bugs… they just had to plant them and wait.

Mello turned left into a rather large building, an apartment complex with a very modern feel. Inside the cielings were high and elegant, accented by a few very large palm trees in domestic pots sitting on either side of the main door. The decor was impeccable, the modern elements mixing well with the building's overall historic appearance. Mello wasted no time in walking to the front desk to gain access to the elevator. He greeted the young assistant working there and pulled out two IDs from his back pocket, handing them over to the young lady. She glanced them over, looking at Mello and then Matt.

"Oh, Takahashi-san has been expecting your arrival. Fujikage-san and Aida-san, I'll buzz you in right away, thank you for your patience," the young woman said as she pressed a button under the desk to grant them access to the elevator. Matt and Mello entered the elevator as the attendant pressed the button for the correct floor. She bid them farewell and the doors closed, leaving Matt and Mello alone.

"Fujikage? Aida?" Matt asked, looking at Mello with interest. Mello smirked as he handed the IDs over to Matt. Matt glanced them over. "I'm not even going to ask how you managed to get these in the time allotted."

"There are ways..." Mello said simply. Matt chuckled at this as he inspected the licenses further, noting the names Mello had chosen to use.

"What the..." the sentence died on Matt's lips as he turned to Mello, eyes narrowed. "You named me Fujikage Aoi? Aoi!! That's a girl's name!" Matt said, hitting Mello on the shoulder.

"Well... technically, it's a unisex name. But you do bring up a good point, you're pretty feminine for a guy..." Mello teased, glancing at Matt to see his reaction. Matt narrowed his eyes at Mello once again.

"Oh sure… you name yourself Takeo... and you're even more feminine looking than I am!" He half-heartedly yelled as he poked Mello in the side. Mello laughed at Matt. The younger boy's sudden playfulness made Mello smile, it felt just like it used to between them.

The moment was interrupted as the doors to the elevator opened on the twentieth floor of the complex. Mello exited to the hallway first, Matt following close behind, letting Mello lead the way. The hallway was deserted just like the streets had been, and they walked a good portion of the way down the hall before Mello stopped in front of what Matt guessed to be Amane-san's apartment door.

--

The placement of the bugs had gone more smoothly than Matt had imagined. Mello had made it incredibly easy for them to get in and get out without anyone noticing what had happened. Matt had placed three major bugs in Amane's apartment according to his research on the rooms she used the most. One bug was in the bedroom stuck to the back of a side table, one in the living room inside a vase, and the last one in the dining room under a chair. All three of the devices were audio capable, he had also placed a few video devices at random around the apartment. Mello had made himself comfortable as he watched Matt place the devices. He had even gone so far as to steal some chocolate candies from a dish that was sitting on the coffee table. He'd pop one or two into his mouth every once in awhile, admiring Matt's ability to set his plan in motion.

Matt had set up the surveillance at their apartment prior to the excursion so that when they returned all equipment was up and running, the cameras set up to face the NPA headquarters. All Matt had to do was log onto his network encryption and set the program up for live streaming, simple. He sat down, taking out his PSP and occasionally glancing at the monitors, watching for anything that would help Mello out. Mello had decided that Matt should watch Aizawa's location at the NPA, just incase something of interest were to arise.

Mello booked a hotel room to stake out around Amane's apartment to listen in on any information that would be important to them. Matt had set him up with some monitors to aid him throughout the night. Amane-san had returned home at approximately 11:30pm and ever since then they had been observing her behavior. Mello listened intently to her conversation with Mogi, hoping she would slip out some information that would help Mello find the notebook again.

"No matter how much Raito loves and believes Misa, if he knew Misa and Mochi have lived for five days under the same roof, he would suspect that Misa has been unfaithful, wouldn't he?" Misa Amane's annoying voice pierced through Mello's concentration.

"Yeah..." 'Mochi'… a.k.a. Mogi replied. Mello couldn't believe how incredibly thick headed this girl was. Could she seriously be the Second Kira? It seemed impossible, but she had mentioned that Kira had murdered the guy who killed her parents. But perhaps she used the shinigami eyes... either way, Mello just couldn't believe that Amane was affiliated with Kira. Mello's thoughts were interrupted by the sudden ring of his cell phone. He picked it up, opening the cover, it was Matt.

"How's it going?" Mello asked him, ticking away at the keyboard, trying to find any piece of information that he may have missed.

"I'm bored out of my mind!" Matt replied, shifting so that he could play his PSP while talking. "No movement at all. They even have their _food_ delivered to them. This has to be their headquarters. Anyway... it's boring as hell."

Mello smirked at Matt's reply, hearing the subtle sound of the game Matt was playing in the background. "Don't complain… I'm bored too. Perhaps they think Aizawa is being tailed by the SPK and they moved. But it might be a trick, stay alert."

"Easy for you to say, you get to listen to a hot girl, I get to watch a _wall_… why don't we swap," Matt replied jokingly. He heard Mello smirk over the phone.

It was 3am when Mello glanced at the clock next; perhaps it was time to call it quits. Mello dialed Matt's number holding the phone to his ear, it rang twice before he picked up.

"Hey boss... getting bored now?" Matt asked jokingly.

"I'm going to head back, we'll watch the monitors from the apartment," Mello replied as he gathered his things and headed back to their apartment. He wasn't surprised to see Matt still playing PSP games when he entered the apartment. Matt looked up as Mello crossed the room to sit in the chair across from him.

"That woman has the most annoying voice I have ever heard," Mello said as he sat down. Matt chuckled, keeping his eyes on his game. Perhaps Mello was starting to care again, Matt thought, or maybe it was just the illusion. Maybe it was just because right now Mello needed Matt to help him succeed. He'd probably abandon him later just like everyone else did. Whatever the case, this game was starting to wear Matt thin.

They sat in silence, Matt vigorously pushing buttons on his PSP, Mello watching the monitors, headphones on, chocolate in hand. Every once in a while Mello would peek over at Matt, noticing how childish the younger man could seem at times. The way Matt's pink lips would slightly turn down at the corners whenever he misjudged an attack. Mello could only describe the reaction as... cute. They stayed like that for a few hours, mainly keeping tabs on the NPA location, as Amane-san had gone to sleep long ago, Mogi crashing on the couch. Mello sighed, growing bored of the whole situation. He pulled the headphones off of his head, throwing them to the ground. They hit the carpet with a soft 'thud,' Mello glanced over at Matt, surprised to see the red-head sprawled on the couch, PSP discarded on the floor. When had he fallen asleep? Mello watched Matt, his eyes were closed, lips slightly parted as he slept, his chest rising and falling in the depths of slumber.

Mello smiled as he stood up and walked over to the couch. He sat on the floor next to the red head, the sudden urge to touch him becoming too much to bear. Mello reached out a hand and brushed a few strands of Matt's hair away from his face, admiring his soft pale skin. Mello had asked a lot of Matt the last few days, no wonder he was so tired. Perhaps Mello had been too hard on him. The games they played were fun, but was it worth the pain it caused? Mello knew the answer to that question, but his pride kept getting in the way. Mello leaned over Matt, playing with his auburn hair as he placed his lips on Matt's forehead, kissing him gently.

"I'm sorry Matt..." Mello whispered, his apology falling on deaf ears. He didn't want to hurt Matt, he never did it on purpose. Mello settled himself on the floor, placing his head on Matt's chest, listening to his heart beat. He closed his eyes to the sound, letting it's steady rhythm drift him to sleep.

--

_"You did it now Mello!" Mello ran away from the voice laughing. So he pushed the kid.. so what? Sometimes the younger brats could be so annoying. The sky was blue, dark clouds on the horizon. They seemed to frame the day with dread, as if something terrible had happened. The bell rang as they were ushered in from their break to begin the second part of the day. Mello followed the little ones, entering the hallway of the orphanage._

_"Hey! Why'd you push me Mello! I'm going to get you!" the little kid said as he attempted to hit him. Mello laughed as he held him back by putting his hand on the child's head. The kid swung his arms out, trying to grab at Mello._

_"You'll have to try harder than that!" He mocked, laughing even harder. Suddenly, a hand was upon his wrist, grabbing him away from the rest of the group. _

_"Mello.." Mello looked up at the sound of his name. It was Mr. Roger, he had been chosen to head the orphanage while Watari was away._

_"Hm?" Mello follow Mr. Rogers lead as he turned the corner, peeking into a nearby room. Near was sitting on the floor, putting together another one of his puzzles, twirling his white hair between his fingers. Mello hated him so much, even the way he played with his hair when he was thinking. It was so annoying._

_"And Near, come with me," Mr. Roger lead them to his office, closing the door behind them. He sat down in his brown leather chair as he turned to address them both. His eyes were fix on the desk in front of him, his glasses hiding his expression. The silence was deadly._

_"What is it Roger?" Mello asked, breaking the silence. He hated anticipation. Near sat beside him patiently.. always calm, inadvertently pissing Mello off in the process._

_"'L' is dead..." Roger said bluntly, motionless. Near continued to put his puzzle together, calm as ever. Mello's jaw dropped... 'L' was dead? 'L' the only person besides Matt whom Mello didn't mind all that much. 'L' the one who used to stay up with him at night, trying to help him study? This was impossible.. no one could kill 'L'. Mello rushed toward Roger's desk, slamming his hands onto the wood._

_"..B..But how?" He demanded, "Do you mean he was killed by Kira? Is that it?" Mello could hear Near placing the puzzle pieces in their spot, the incessant 'clicking' driving him mad._

_"Most likely.. yes.." Roger replied calmly. How could everyone be so calm about this? L was DEAD!_

_"You mean he was going to catch Kira... AND NOW HE'S DEAD!" Mello yelled grabbing Roger by the shoulders._

_"Mello!" Roger started but was interrupted by the sound of puzzle pieces hitting the floor. Both of them turned to see Near dumping the puzzle he had just finished onto the floor._

_"If we don't win the game... if we don't solve the puzzle, we are nothing but failures," Near replied as he began to put the puzzle back together once more. Mello attempted to ignore Near's comment as he turned back towards Mr. Roger._

_"Who did he choose between Near and me..." Mello asked waiting rather impatiently for the answer._

_"I'm afraid he hadn't chosen yet, Mello... and now... he's dead," Roger said tentatively. Mello was shocked. He hadn't chosen yet? But why? How could this be happening? "Mello, Near... why don't you work together on this case.."_

_"Yes.. agreed," Near replied as he placed piece after piece into place on the puzzle, his movements flawless. Mello sneered at him._

_"Impossible, you know that Near and I don't get along..." Mello said. Wasn't anyone listening to him? Mello was getting very frustrated. "I've always been second best.. no matter now much I studied, or how hard I tried... Listen... Near will be the one to succeed 'L'. Unlike me, he'll do the job calmly, without emotion... just like he always does."_

_The clicking of the puzzle pieces ceased and Roger stared at him in awe._

_"I'm leaving..." Mello said as he turned around, walking to the door. He barely had control over his emotions, if he didn't leave now he'd explode._

_"Mello!" Roger called out, standing up in an attempt to stop him._

_"DO WHATEVER YOU WANT ROGER... I'll be 15 soon anyway, I'm leaving the orphanage," Mello said as he slammed the door shut behind him._

_Mello kept walking, eyes downcast. He had to get out of here, he had to think... L was dead. How could this be? Mello stormed out the doors of the orphanage and into the rain. The sky was dark, reflecting his own emotions as he walked through the rain, the drops hitting him like icicles. He had to avenge L, if nothing else he had to kill Kira. He had to leave the orphanage, he wasn't of any use here anymore. Mello's blonde hair began to cling to his face, he watched the drops form pools on the ground, drowning the blades of grass. Mello wished he could drown with them. He was never good enough for anyone... he could never win. Perhaps it'd be better off if he just..._

_Mello stopped short when he looked up. He wasn't expecting to find anyone outside at this hour... especially when it was pouring down rain. Mello watched Matt for a moment; Matt's face was turned toward the sky, rain drops falling on his delicate features, soaking the boy's clothes. He seemed so small, standing there before Mello, so fragile somehow._

_"What the fuck are you doing you idiot..." Mello asked harshly, still a little irritated from his encounter with Roger and Near. He didn't mean to snap at Matt, he was just so frustrated. Matt had been his friend for such a long time now. He was the only one that Mello could go to when no one else would listen to him. Matt always seemed to make things right, just by_ being _there. Mello's nerves were so shot, he just needed a little support, something to keep him going._

_Matt kept his back to Mello, face still turned toward the sky. He showed no sign that he had even heard what Mello had said. _

'Please don't play this game with me Matt... I can't do this right now..' _Mello thought, mentally pleading for Matt to just _talk_ to him. He just needed someone to talk to. As if hearing his mental plea Matt spoke:_

_"I just needed to think..."_

_Mello watched Matt. Should he tell him about 'L'? About his plan to leave the orphanage behind?_

_"...I..." Mello started, but when Matt turned around to look at him, he couldn't find the words anymore. Matt's hair was soaked, his eyes sad. They seemed to reflect the same blue-gray that the sky had become in its misery. Matt looked at him tentatively, waiting for him to continue. How could he tell Matt that he had to leave him? They had been friends for so long and now he was just going to ditch him? He couldn't bring himself to say it... it was too hard... too emotional. Mello looked down to avoid Matt's eyes, he swore he could feel Matt looking right through him. Mello could barely keep a hold on to his emotions, he couldn't control his shaking. L was dead. Mello had never felt so small... he just needed someone..._

_Mello felt Matt's eyes on him as he looked up again. Matt pursed his lips as if wanting to say something, but the rain seemed to drown out his thoughts, creating an uneasy silence between them. Before Mello even knew what was happening Matt had moved toward him, closing the distance in a few steps, Matt's eyes locked with his. Mello's heart stopped, he couldn't move. Why couldn't he move?_

_Matt hesitated for a moment, making Mello's heart race even faster. Why couldn't he move? Matt leaned ever so slightly forward and captured Mello's lips with his, his warm breath caressing Mello's cheek. Matt's lips were so soft... so inviting. A tear trailed its way down Mello's cheek unnoticed. Mello couldn't bring himself to return the kiss. He couldn't love Matt... he had to leave. He couldn't do this to him..._

_When Matt knew the kiss wasn't going to be returned he pulled away embarrassed._ 'No! Don't go.. I need you.. please..._' Mello's mind pleaded as Matt pulled away eyes downcast, never noticing Mello's tear stained face. Mello had to get away from the situation before his emotions got the better of him. Matt had never seen him cry.. no one had.. and he wanted to keep it that way. _'I don't want to love you Matt.. please don't make me love you_...' Mello thought as he pursued his lips together, the feeling of the kiss still fresh in his mind._

_"Let's go inside..." Mello said as he turned toward the orphanage. He heard Matt's footsteps walking close behind him. _

_They walked down the hall in silence, their shoes squeaking on the tiles of the floor as they trudged toward their rooms. Mello heard Matt's footsteps slow as they reached his bedroom door. Normally, Mello would turn and tell Matt to follow him into his room, but Mello didn't want Matt to see him this way. Face flush and stained with tears, Mello kept walking toward his own room, closing the door behind him. He placed his back to the door and sighed as he looked up at his ceiling. What had he done? Had he lost Matt forever? Mello's legs gave out from under him as he slid to the floor, fresh tears burning his eyes. This game was so hard for him to play, he didn't want to play it anymore. Mello placed his head on his knees, wrapping his arms around them and closing his eyes. He felt so weak._

'Bang! Clash!_' Mello jerked his head up at the sounds, wiping his tears away with his sleeve._

_"What was that?" He wondered aloud. His question was answered with a loud 'thud' coming from the next room."Matt.." Mello said to himself as he darted to his feet, opening his door and rushing to Matt's room. He shoved the door to Matt's room open to find Matt sitting on the floor next to his bed. Matt's face was flush, his breathing hitched. _'Fuck.. fuck.. he's having an attack_,' Mello thought._

_"You fucking dumbass..." Mello accused as he grabbed a paper bag from Matt's desk, handing it to him as he sat next to the red head."Breathe into that for awhile..." Matt grabbed the bag from Mello, placing it to his lips as he tried to calm himself down. Mello sat close to Matt, their hips touching, Mello occasionally glancing over to make sure he was okay. Their rain soaked clothes dripped onto the hardwood floor, creating little puddles of water on the wood. Mello looked at the floor, noticing one of the porcelain cats Matt's parents had given him was smashed. It's pieces scattered on the hardwood, mixing with the puddles of water._

_"Why did you do that..." Mello asked, referring to the broken cat. Matt sat in silence, looking at the floor. He began to tear up pieces of his paper bag, avoiding eye contact. Mello realized that Matt was out right refusing to talk to him._ 'Don't play with me, Matt.._' Mello thought as his anger and frustration grew. Matt's parents had abandoned him long ago, it wasn't fair that they still had control over him, that they could still hurt him. Mello looked around Matt's room, trying to calm himself down, but the consistent tearing sound was more than he could stand. He jolted up from his spot next to Matt, dashing toward Matt's dresser. He grabbed the last good luck cat from it's spot and threw it against the wall, breaking it into thousands of shards._

_"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT!" Matt screamed. He darted toward Mello, grabbing his shirt and shoving him backward. Mello shoved him back his temper flaring._

_"THEY CAN'T HAVE YOU ANYMORE!" Mello screamed back, looking him straight in the eyes. Mello's eyes were wild, he could feel them tearing up with frustration. "They don't need you anymore... I do, Mail..." Mello watched Matt's facial features soften at the mention of his real name. _

_"What..." Matt whispered confused._

_"I said 'I need you' you idiot..." Mello replied, teeth clenched. He hated having to admit his weakness.. even to Matt. Matt looked at him incredulously._

_"Mihael..." Matt whispered. The sound of his name on Matt's lips was too much to bear, Mello couldn't control himself any longer. His frustration had overcome him. He pushed Matt down onto his bed, crushing their lips together. Matt struggled, surprised by the sudden pressure above him. Mello restrained both of Matt's hands above his head and continuing his assault on Matt's lips making him moan in surprise._

_"What's wrong?" Mello teased, "isn't this what you wanted?" Matt moaned at Mello's words, bucking his hips up to meet Mello's. Mello began to nibble on Matt's earlobe, licking and biting his way down Matt's neck, the action creating quite the response from his lover. Mello traveled down until he reached he soft skin where Matt's neck met his shoulder, having the sudden urge to mark his 'territory.' Matt was his... always._ 'Remember me... remember this..._' Mello pleaded with his mind as he bit down on the younger man's neck, making Matt scream out in pleasure._

_--_

_Mello laid next to Matt, staring at the ceiling._

_"Hmm.." He heard Matt moan in his sleep. Mello look over at him, smiling at how peacefully he slept. The red head's hair covered his face, the sheet laid delicately across the skin of his back, making Matt look like some kind of angel wrapped in a Roman robe. Mello knew he had to leave him, he knew the moment that he kissed Matt he had made a mistake. He loved the gamer more that he'd loved anything but he had to find Kira.. he had to avenge L. Mello grabbed his pants and shirt, getting dressed as he watched the sunrise from Matt's bedroom window. He didn't want to leave this way, but his pride wouldn't let him stay._

_Mello reached into his pocket, pulling out the only picture of himself he had. He laid the picture on the pillow next to Matt, looking him over one last time before he turned to leave._

_"I'm sorry Matt... please don't forget me.." Mello pleaded, his apology falling on deaf ears._

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Ta da! I hope that this makes up for Chapter 4... I work really hard on this one.. my fingers hurt :( haha.

So what do you think of Mello now huh?

Please review!


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